Resources - Counseling
Counseling help can be found in several different venues. Most help draws on the proven and time-tested methods of Reality Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to empower clients to create lasting change. We view counseling as a collaborative relationship between counselor and client. We believe that instead of trying to control the circumstances or change others, we can lead our clients to lead themselves then change occurs from the inside-out. The catalyst for change is to master the skill of self-evaluation and learn to develop more effective choices.
Individual Therapy
Are you experiencing any of the following?
- Loneliness or depression
- Persistent worry or anxiety
- Helplessness or Hopelessness
- Difficulty getting along with others
- Isolating and withdrawn from normal daily activities
- Battling an addiction
The main emphasis of our practice is to help clients create and nurture meaningful and satisfying relationships and one of those relationships is with yourself. The ironic thing is to live happily with yourself you must be able to connect with others. Let's face it; we all want a witness to our life! We want someone else to notice that we matter. We are wired with certain genetic needs and some of those needs are love and belonging. And the only way to satisfy these genetic needs is through meaningful relationships. Not only is that true, but we have a need to offer ourselves to others in some meaningful way. Whether that connection is with a friend, spouse, teacher, colleague, family member or significant other, relationships are a BIG DEAL!
When you come to counseling, you can expect a collaborative relationship between us. We will work together and take a real look at what has gotten in the way of you connecting with yourself and others. You will learn the skill of self-evaluation. You will learn to identify limiting beliefs and behaviors and then replace them with new thinking patterns and behaviors that lead to recapturing your identity and the meaning to your life and relationships. We will focus on what you "Can Do" now instead of ruminating on the irreversible past.
Relationship Counseling
- Do you want to know how to create happiness and intimacy in your relationship again?
- Do you want relationships that are built on mutual acceptance.
- Do you want to learn communication strategies that build closeness instead of distance?
I believe what creates and sustains genuine happiness in people's lives is their ability to build nurturing and satisfying relationships, no matter what kind it is... whether it's dating, marital, collegial, parental, friendships, and yes even with yourself, relationships are a BIG DEAL!
A vital part of a happy life is our innate desire to get along with those who we care about. We all want a witness to our life. In other words, what would a hole-in-one in golf be like if no one was there to see it happen and roar in applause? How would you feel if there was no one to show concern or support during your struggles or disappointments? What if no one was around to witness any of your achievements? What's the value of this thing called "love" if there was no one to offer it too or receive it from? Answer! Life would be pretty miserable!
Are you ready to:
- Create happiness and intimacy in your relationship again?
- Build relationships that are built on mutual acceptance, instead of those built on the, "if you scratch. my back, I'll scratch yours"?
- Learn communication strategies that build closeness instead of distance?
- Learn how to deal with people that seem to know how to push your buttons?
- Regain the trust of someone close to you?
- Learn how to forgive the person that betrayed you?
- Rebuild your confidence and strengthen your self-esteem to offer the gifts and talents you truly possess?
I approach counseling in a solution focused and collaborative manner. We will work together and look at what is getting in the way of having satisfying relationships with yourself and others! Learn to honestly evaluate the choices you're making and to replace your limiting behaviors with more effective ones! You will learn to think and act in ways that create positive change and draw you closer to the people who are important in your life. The catalyst for change is to practice effective strategies that focuses on what you 'can do' instead of trying to change or control others or your circumstances. The goal is to end counseling with me knowing that you can continue to 'counsel' yourself.
Anger Management
- Do you have control over your anger or does it control you?
- Does it seem that certain people just know how to push your "anger buttons"?
- Do you have difficulty "backing-down" from a challenge?
Anger is a natural and universal experience. It's an emotional signal that tells us something is not right, but if anger is uncontrolled, it can damage you, the people and the opportunities that surround you. How much longer will you continue to pay the price of damaged relationships, loneliness, and missed opportunities before you seek the help you need?
- Do you have control over your anger or does it control you?
- Does it seem that certain people just know how to push your "anger buttons"?
- Do you have difficulty "backing-down" from a challenge, whether verbal or physical?
- Do you have difficulty knowing how to respond to people who have an anger problem?
- Do you find that suppressing your anger has the potential to make things worse later?
- Do you want to learn not to just break old behavior patterns but replace them with positive and productive behaviors?
- Learn about the myths and lies about anger.
- Learn how to respond instead of just reacting to anger.
- Learn how to increase your self-awareness and practice self-evaluation to master self control.
- Learn effective communication skills that allow you to express your anger instead of suppressing it.
- Learn how to manage your emotions when faced with others that don't know how to control theirs.
- Learn how to build and nurture the relationships that are important to you.
- Learn how to create new relationships.
Gambling Addiction
Do I have a gambling problem? You may if you:
- Feel the need to be secretive about your gambling. You might gamble in secret or lie about how much you gamble, feeling others won't understand or that you will surprise them with a big win.
- Have trouble controlling your gambling. Once you start gambling, can you walk away? Or are you compelled to gamble until you've spent your last dollar, upping your bets in a bid to win lost money back?
- Gamble even when you don't have the money. A red flag is when you are getting more and more desperate to recoup your losses. You may gamble until you've spent your last dollar, and then move on to money you don't have- money to pay bills, credit cards, or things for your children. You may feel pushed to borrow, sell or even steal things for gambling money. It's a vicious cycle. You may sincerely believe that gambling more money is the only way to win lost money back. But it only puts you further and further in the hole.
- Have family and friends who are worried about you. Denial keeps problem gambling going. If friends and family are worried, listen to them carefully. Take a hard look at how gambling is affecting your life. It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help.
If your loved one has a gambling problem, he or she might:
- Become increasingly defensive about his or her gambling. The more a problem gambler is in the hole, the more the need to defend gambling as a way to get money. Your loved one may get secretive, defensive or even blame you for the need to gamble, telling you that it is all for you and you need to trust in the "big win someday."
- Suddenly become secretive over money and finances. Your loved one might show a new desire to control household finances, or there might increasingly be a lack of money despite the same income and expenses. Savings and assets might mysteriously dwindle, or there may be unexplained loans or cash advances.
- Become increasingly desperate for money to fund the gambling. Credit card bills may increase, or your loved one may ask friends and family for money. Jewelry or other items easily pawned for money may mysteriously disappear.
